They are cool
Why they gotta look like that?
“I have no idea why they look like that”
-Gandhi
Nobody knows why they look like that!.. Scientists have been questioning this for years but there have been no developments or hints to the reasoning, however…
Leading Scientists have concluded
- They are great for the economy
- They are an inspiration
- They boost workplace morale
- They are the key to world peace
- They are funny
- It is predicted that one will be elected into office soon
- They are a healthy alternative to therapy
- They can add decades onto one’s life expectancy
The following table is known scientific fact
| Weight | % of squirrel population |
| 0.5 to 3 Kilograms | 1% |
| 3 to 10 Kilograms | 5% |
| 10 to 100 Kilograms | 0% |
| 100+ Kilograms | 94% |
We asked a fat squirrel for his opinion on the subject
“*Squirrel Noises*”
Squilbert
There is a lot we can takeaway from this small anecdote! He has revealed to us that they have their own organized central government, social hierarchy and cast system based primarily on weight. Scientists have theorized this for decades, and now it is on the fast track to becoming a scientific law. The identities of their current leaders are yet to be announced and their aspirations as a society are still unknown.
