To Be Seen and Heard

It is an important part of nearly everyone’s lives to be able to fit in, whether that be in the form of making friends, working with coworkers, studying with classmates, or just having people to talk to. 

Fitting in isn’t always easy for everyone, though, as people face a variety of different obstacles that may prevent them from being able to socialize and make new connections. This might seem even more prevalent in our current society, where many of us are so deeply captivated by technology to the point where we could be physically present in a conversation but mentally absent. 

Imagine going out for lunch one day with a group of friends. You’re excited to be able to meet up with all of them, and you pick a fancy restaurant for everyone to meet up. Your hopes are then shattered as two of your friends spend the meal scrolling through Facebook, another friend starts listening to music on their headphones, and your conversation with your remaining friends keeps getting interrupted with text messages that ring every 5 seconds or so. Everyone appears to be here, but their attention seems to be taken by something else.  

Although reality may not be as drastic as the imaginary situation above, surely many have already observed the struggle of keeping someone’s attention. In a way, it’s almost like being seen by others but not heard. 

Meyer, Marvin. “People Sitting down near Table with Assorted Laptop Computers.”

To help visualize this better, imagine this new scenario: you’re walking down a busy street; people are bustling around you in all directions when someone suddenly tugs on your sleeve. You turn around to face a man who desperately asks you for a dollar that he’s missing to buy a subway ticket. What would you do? Would you give him the dollar? Or would you shrug him off and walk away? What if, instead, the man was someone who happened to text you one day to ask you for a dollar? Does it suddenly seem easier to just scroll past the text message and ignore it entirely? 

Similarly to this imaginary scenario, we may find ourselves doing things to people who we can’t directly see that we usually wouldn’t do if we were face to face with them. With the world having become a place where people are able to send messages to someone else on the opposite side of the globe, it almost seems that the genuineness of some relationships are tainted. 

With our current society being the way it is, how are relationships and connections built at all? One way is by being inclusive, kind, and willing to listen to others. Someone who is able to excellently embody all of these traits within the local community of Ann Arbor is Madeline Zerial.

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Madeline is a senior in the college of Literature, Science, and the Arts at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan, currently working towards her degree. Madeline also works as a Resident Advisor (RA) in one of the residence halls at the University of Michigan, but to simply call her an RA doesn’t do her enough justice, as she is also a very engaged member of the local community in a variety of ways. Madeline stands out as someone who tries her best to make sure everyone around her feels included; the leadership and kindness she displays within the community really highlights her inclusiveness as well. 

During an interview with her, Madeline was asked: “What are some groups or organizations you’re a part of within the local community?” 

“I am involved in the Comprehensive Studies Program, or CSP,” she responded. “It was a program that I was accepted into as I got accepted to U of M, and it centers around helping people who are from under-resourced or underprivileged areas adjust to college. I’m also involved in Young Life, which is a Christian organization on campus, where we are really involved with other people and really getting to know them as well as doing fun things and adventures.” 

Madeline described her involvement with the Comprehensive Studies Program, Young Life, and her job as a Resident Advisor, among many other roles. During Madeline’s Freshman year in college, she was paired with a mentor within CSP who guided her and helped her “learn the ropes to college.” She has since become a mentor herself within the CSP program, helping a new generation of Freshman fit into college and serving as someone who first-years and incoming students could rely on and go to for help during times of confusion. 

Madeline also described how she became involved with Young Life, which she is now actively involved with every week: “I got involved with Young Life during my Freshman Year,” she said. “Someone handed me a flyer at Festifall and said, ‘Hey, do you want to go tubing with us tomorrow?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah! Why would I not!’” Madeline’s response revealed that she is very eager to meet new people and is open to learning more about the people around her local community. This openness to connect with other people also brought to light how much Madeline enjoyed meeting not only people who were fellow Christians like her but also people who were from different backgrounds from her. This isn’t a common quality as many people struggle to find common ground with other people who are different from themselves, which thus causes them to mostly only associate with people who are similar to themselves.

“I got to know the community and I got to meet people,” Madeline remarked. “I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it at first, but then I made a few good friends, and I really liked that it was a place where people who maybe didn’t know about Jesus or Christianity as well as people who really did know about him and really care about their faith were all able to come together and have a good time, which is what I really liked about it.”

When further asked about what other Young Life events or activities she enjoyed, Madeline expressed how much she liked the worship nights and also talked about her enjoyment of working in teams: “I really like the team meetings, just because it’s like a group of five of us who are really dedicated and are able to go deeper in that, which I also think is really fun. I also really like something called contact work, which is when you get to deliberately go out and meet new people, whether that’s finding someone from your class and being like, ‘Hey, you wanna get coffee or something?’ or it could be like handing out donuts at football games.” Madeline excitedly follows this up by saying, “Everyone was so happy and they were like, ‘Oh my gosh,  I haven’t eaten anything and I’m four drinks in,’ or something like that.” 

Madeline is a Christian herself yet she loves to connect with Christians and non-Christians alike. She enjoys when people from different groups can come together and have fun and enjoy the same things. She further elaborates on what motivates her to do what she does, stating, “People get curious and ask, ‘Hey, why’re you always handing out donuts?’ or ‘Why’re you giving me coffee?’ and I’m like, ‘You know, I do it because Jesus loves people and I love people.’”

During the interview, Madeline also went into more detail about her roles within the local community, such as her leadership role within the Young Life community. “I would do leader training to become a leader; that would be someone who leads one of the bible studies or the events and really plans them. You can become a leader for high schoolers or middle schoolers, so those are different options if you want to do that. As leaders, we have weekly meetings. So within the Young Life college team, there’s like five leaders, and then I’m the head leader of the leaders, so then I have an additional couple meetings a month, and so it’s just talking about bigger things and planning out longer distance things and making sure that we have supplies and stuff like that.” Madeline also briefly mentioned her involvement with the local community even over the summer: “This summer, I’m working at a summer camp for Young Life for a few weeks, so you could do all sorts of things within that.” 

The interview topic shifted towards Madeline’s role as a Resident Advisor. In the previous year, Madeline was a Resident Advisor in a co-educational hall, which is a residence hall available to both men and women. This year, she is a Resident Advisor for a gender-inclusive hall that supports students from any gender identity. As an RA, Madeline has to make sure that the residents in her hall feel at home and secure. She does this by building community throughout her hall and getting to know all of her residents. Madeline describes how she often leaves her dorm room door open so that her residents are able to talk to her if they need help or just have something they want to share. Madeline would stop to talk with her residents whenever she runs into them within the residence hall, or anywhere else. Madeline also explains how being in a gender-inclusive hall allows her to be in a more diverse community and to meet more diverse people, which she really enjoys.

“I feel like having so many different types of people in the hall just related to their gender identity really shows just how vast a community can be just with this one quality in it. It helps you get to meet more friends from different areas… I actually really like living in a gender-inclusive hall this year because I get to see all of my residents.”

During the interview, it really stuck out how inclusive Madeline is towards everyone; she really enjoys building relationships with people from diverse backgrounds and making sure everyone feels happy and safe. She brought up how she had wanted to become a Resident Advisor since before even coming to the University of Michigan, further indicating how much she likes to build connections with others. Madeline does an exceptional job of making sure that everyone, no matter what background they come from, are able to fit in and just have a good time. 

When asked what were some highlights about her job as a RA, Madeline responded, “Just meeting you guys, and I just love talking to you guys, and whenever I can just have my door open and like talk to you guys, it’s just so fun when you come in, and I get to hear about what’s going on in your lives and give you candy, and I just genuinely love that. I love creating those relationships, and it’s just so fun to meet other people, and I love playing games and stuff like that and just being able to offer my space for that. I remember how lost I felt as a Freshman, and just me being able to show people like, ‘Oh, college isn’t that bad, you can find fun in it, you can find people,’ and also like bonding with other RAs, you get to meet a lot of really cool people that way, whether you become really good friends or not, it’s a good way to like meet a bunch of people who are in completely different fields than you.”

Displaying this inclusiveness is especially important for incoming college students, some of whom may be coming from an entirely different state or country and don’t have many connections in the new environment. It’s comforting just knowing that there’s someone who is there for you whenever you need help. 

Throughout the interview, it was repeatedly brought up how much Madeline loves building relationships with other people. She has built multiple connections with her peers within the Comprehensive Studies Program, between other Resident Advisors in her job, and among fellow community members in Young Life. Madeline is also a leader within her local community: she has the role of a leader within Young Life, she is a RA with the responsibility of building community among many residents, and she is a mentor within the CSP program. With all of these roles and leadership positions comes many responsibilities as well, not to mention having to succeed in her degree program and current courses as well. Yet, all of these duties don’t stop Madeline from doing what she loves and what she believes is right.