*This post was written during my last week in India, which was several weeks ago, and I never got the chance to post it. So I’m posting it now.

Wrapping up my final week in India I’m very conflicted. I don’t want to leave because this feels like the most important work I’ve ever done in my life. I had to say good bye to the kids today and I cried harder than I have in years. It reminded me of a scene in a film where a young man, Matt Damon’s character, cries holding Robin Williams’s character, finally able to release his psychological trauma which he had held onto since he was a child. The love that the children showed me had the same effect as decades of therapy all in the span of four weeks. I’ve let go of so much that was making me unhappy and have completely changed my outlook on life. Everything is so much more beautiful and hopeful.

I’m also sick of the unearthly humidity and heat which seem like a cruel method of torture with no mercy. I’ll never take having clean water accessible from every sink and shower in my home for granted again. Nor will I take for granted not having to worry about getting sick from food ordered at a restaurant or eaten at someone’s home again. Literally every time I step out of the front door of the hostile there is someone trying to rob me, either by charging me ten times more than they would an Indian, trying to get me to pay twice for something I’ve already paid for, or just by chasing me down the street asking for money and then demanding more in the unlikely event I do give them money. In the United States I’ve only had something similar happen maybe twice in the thirty years I’ve lived in the US, so for it to happen literally a hundred times a week here is overwhelming. Not to mention the traffic, horns, pollution, smells, insects, etc.,

Having gotten the negative out of the way, I definitely want to return to India. Just in a cooler time of the year then I think I can tolerate everything else much easier. There is so much more to see and so many people that genuinely need help. Some of the children would definitely attend college if they had the money and if their families would let them. In the future I want to help them be able to attend college by helping them overcome those obstacles. I’ve already spoken to the owner of the school about working with them in the future to help the kids and renovate the school. It has given me a wonderful purpose.