On a day-to-day basis, time moves quickly. But in hindsight, time has passed slowly. On a day-to-day basis, time moves slowly. But in hindsight, time has passed quickly.
This is the paradox of quarantine, the anthem of 2020– what have I done all day today?
Even writing this post, I struggle to put the right words together. I often find myself staring at my laptop screen, fingers hovering above the keyboard. Typing, highlighting, deleting, and starting over. It’s not to say that my mind is empty. It’s quite the opposite, in fact. I have never felt so flooded by thoughts, tasks, and information. Emails I need to respond to, important plans I need to structure ahead of time, conversations I’ve been meaning to have, news and other media I am morally and responsibly obligated to consume–it often feels like an architect’s nightmare, like my mind is running on railroad tracks that disconnect, derail, stop, collide, or explode. It’s hard for me to pause and forgive myself for neglecting something for a day. But it’s even harder for me to try and be everyone that I want to be in one given day. And you know, some superstar humans balance it all. Full-time parent, partner, entrepreneur, activist, and writer? You name it. However, I know I’m not there yet. I’m absolutely not there yet. I’m growing, I’m trying, and I’m learning every day. Every single day. Some of the self-development that has occurred over the last several months is incredible. In certain aspects, I feel more secure in myself and my life journey. But it feels like I’ve been running on an almost empty tank of fuel. I wake up and I already feel burnt out. Will the remaining months of this year ever begin an upturn?
I can’t figure out what the exact purpose behind writing that last statement was, but I won’t be going back to delete it. I’d like to leave the post with a “simple pleasure”: sitting alone outside and getting fresh air.
If any of you have a “simple pleasure” you’d like to pass on, please leave a comment. I’d like to know!
Jakin