Hello everyone,
Last Saturday, I finally had the chance to drop the prototyped laser cutter off, which I’ve been working with most of the summer, and physically meet the artisan that we’re working with (with social distancing rules). That moment reaffirmed me of the work with real people, as the continuing months of online learning and online communication made me feel so isolated from the rest of the world. Although the conversation was unplanned and lasted for only a few minutes, the warmth is long-lasting and that I couldn’t be happier from the bottom of my heart.
At times in early May, I would be confused about what day it is in the week, and there was a kind of misconception that the summer is never-ending. And yet August is suddenly around the corner. Looking back for the past two months, words couldn’t express my gratitude for the opportunity to be a fellow in this cohort, and goodbyes are always bittersweet.
This summer, I realized my privilege to be able to not only do research but also to learn a new theory “Generative Justice”, attending the seminars and feel a bit more connected with you all. I further developed the skill to look at everything as in connection with each other, to approach a research question with an interdisciplinary starting point. In the research, I learned how my language and “instinctive” approach to solving a problem could potentially reinforce the structural and ingrained racism, resulting in further harm, although it’s unintentional. I realized my implicit bias, while finding the balance to move forward bravely, and how important it is to innovate.
I’ve learned our roles to tell the stories responsibly – as research assistants and also narrators, we have such a significant influence when informing others. I’ve also realized my responsibility to step up and care for my family. I’ve learned to deal with anger and frustration for things that are happening on the news, to try the best to validate my emotions although it has been hard, while also learning to think about active forgiveness – including forgiving myself – not that we don’t have a choice, but that we need to figure out a better way, that doesn’t replicate harm. These few days, I’ve expanded my horizon listening to all your amazing presentations – I could feel your hard work through the screen!
Reading your past written words here make me smile, and I so much wish that we could meet and exchange sometime in the future together. Whoever said that all good things must come to an end, might have forgotten that the supposed “end” marks the start of another journey.
All my best wishes,
Ceciel