Dear future Amira,
Let’s start off with the essentials: as of right now, I’m doing a double major in Comparative Literature, and Gender and Health, although I think that Gender and Health major will have to drop down to a minor. Looks like Donna Ainsworth was right about how it would be difficult fitting in complit/gender and health/pre-med classes all in four years… It’s not that theoretically I couldn’t do it, but it would come at a very high, very stressful cost, and if there’s two things I’ve realized it’s that I put myself in stressful situations for no reason/I have to stop doing that if I really want to be successful. I’ve been thinking a lot about my ideas of success actually (something about finishing up half of college has me in a reflective mood). Overall, a sense of success and achievement for me is being dedicated to the work I’ve chosen to do and putting effort into it. In reality though, I don’t think I’ve fit my idea of success very well. Looking back, I’ve just kinda been getting by, day by day, week by week, semester after semester…I’m sick of this routine, however, and this summer I’m going to make the effort to find my sense of purpose again, both personally and academically, and realign my goals. This summer, I hope WAGSFP can help me do those things. I hope doing my research more intensively will be the start of my working more meticulously/more thoughtfully in all aspects of my life.
Beyond that, I also want to make more time for the things I love this summer. I’ve got around four or five books I want to read, and a whole lot of painting supplies in my room that are literally collecting dust. I don’t want to just be taking naps in my freetime or looking at my phone! Maybe I can make use of that gym membership I got too, since I’m also terrible at taking care of my body. My mom is convinced I will never go, but let’s prove her wrong (for once).
Anyway, that’s all for now. It’s time I go study for my exam and stop procrastinating. Have fun this summer!!!
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Hello there past Amira!
Damn those ten weeks really flew by huh, and here I am, ten weeks older, ten weeks wiser. It’s been quite the eventful summer. That exam I was studying for is long been done, the class was a disappointment but at least it is over. I had quite a long list of things I optimistically wanted to achieve so let’s tally up the hits and misses of Summer 2018.
The first part of my letter, I was thinking about my majors/academic plan, i.e. whether I wanted to stick to my current double major or not. One important lesson I’ve learned and really internalized this summer is quality over quantity. Packing on majors, research projects, etc, etc is useless, no matter how interesting the topics, if I don’t have the capacity to devote myself thoroughly and in a meaningful way where I can actually absorb knowledge. This is especially how I am feeling about my research now; although I wasn’t able to fulfill the required amount of hours for WAGSFP (sad face), I still did the required amount of work my mentor wanted me to do and I put effort into it. My coding has improved in my opinion, and I think I am a much more precise/articulate qualitative researcher. Moving forward, I will be taking this attitude on into my studies as well. So, in a way, I am beginning to reach my idea of success.
Did I find my sense of purpose again? Honestly, I think so? Maybe I’m not fully there yet, but I have definitely had a shift in my life priorities and had many moments of clarity this summer which have made me more confident in what I want to do and in my abilities to do so. WAGSFP has been helpful in making me feel empowered to take on academia and make a space in it for myself in my own way! Not to sound corny and cliche, but I can definitively say I have grown as a person this summer, and WAGSFP has had a hand in that. I’ve lost some friendships, met new people, tried new things (like vlogging for this blog :))) etc etc etc and all of these experiences have been a part of the journey of finding my purpose and sense of authenticity.
As for the whole bit about finding time for the things I love, I’m happy to say that yes, I was pretty successful in doing that! Watched quite a few movies (sometimes at the expense of my classwork oops), found some new music, and painted a little as well. Sadly, I was only able to completely finish one book, which is pretty pathetic, but I just started Barracoon by Zora Neale Hurston and think I’ll finish it before the fall semester starts. As for that gym membership, I did, in fact, prove my mom wrong for once and was very consistent in going before my week-long vacation. Just got back from said vacation and I’m ready to continue my little workout routine (and get those gainz). Hopefully I can keep this work-life balance going into the new school year.
And yes, to respond to the enthusiastic phrase I ended my first letter with, I did have lots of fun this summer 🙂 I’ll miss the quiet community center shifts where I watched too many movies, the Ramadan nights in Alice Lloyd watching Bob’s Burgers after praying, the treks up to North Campus for research, all the lovely people from WAGSFP and summer resstaff, and the time spent with family and friends. Here’s to the wonderful summer that’s past and for whatever else is to come!!!
Love,
Amira