This week was an especially busy one at my site. This entire month, we’ve been working on this huge grant proposal to fund a human trafficking victims program and it was finally due yesterday. When I had first read through all of the grant requirements, I was a little freaked out because I would be majorly responsible for whether or not my site received hundreds of thousands of dollars to help victims who so greatly need support. It took a lot of reflection and self-care to get to a place in which I was ready to undertake this large task. A lot of the time, that fear of failure can really get in your way and prevent you from getting in the ring and giving it your all. I titled this entry “Handling Gravity” because that’s a huge lesson that I’ve learned this week. I have done a lot of work to understand the gravity of the work I’m doing, but not letting it freak me out so much. There comes a certain point where you have to accept that you gave it your all and that it’s now out of your hands.
I know that all of us as University of Michigan students have experienced imposter syndrome, feeling like you’re not meant to be there or up to the task. A lot of that comes with unpacking the very culture that got us here – a culture that’s ultra-competitive and made to diminish people at every turn. I spent a lot of time this week reminding myself that there’s a reason I was chosen for this program and that I am equipped to do this important work with an open heart and gracious spirit. I definitely have a lot more growth to do in this area, but this week I didn’t let it keep me out of the ring and that’s a victory in itself.