idio-m

This wasn’t something that happened physically here in Detroit outside my placement, but it’s something that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been in this program so hopefully it counts.

The Malaysian Public Policy Competition is an annual event that happens around August. Malaysian students at undergraduate and graduate levels apply either individually or as a group to propose a policy that combats one of three issues listed by the organising board of the competition. The winning team won cash, and more importantly,an opportunity to present their policy to the general public (amongst which included certain people holding certain positions of power) through the extensive media coverage this event garners. This year, one of the three issues was on education in Malaysia; the application question called for the participants to reflect upon a major problem in our education system, to research ways to resolve that problem, and to package it as a policy.

When I first saw the online flyer for the competition, I did what I had always done back home-  I turned away. I felt as if these sort of things were beyond my capabilities, and that someone else out there would do a better job and stand a better chance in this competition. But as I turned back to researching materials for the Art For Learning’s Sake project, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of hypocrisy. Here I was, pouring my energy and time into building something for the betterment of the children of Detroit, and yet, I turned my back on my own country, tanah-airku, my homeland, out of the fear of failure, and the self-centred conviction that I wasn’t good enough.

I couldn’t in good faith tell people I was passionate about children and their education, while turning a blind eye to this platform of opportunity that allowed me to present my arguments challenging the current state of the Malaysian education system, in a mediated, professional fashion.

So I joined the competition. Heh.

(I just heard my mom’s voice in my head go ‘jeanie why you telling people your plans before you achieve them hah’) (god I miss my mom) (that cutie)

I won’t know for sure if the policy that my team and I crafted and sent in will make it through to the final round till mid-August, by which I would already be back home, but I am hopeful. More than that, I’m at peace with myself. I wasn’t being some passionate, all-up-in-your-face intern at a non-profit which already provided me with a path and a ten-week plan to complete, but for once, I was taking a chance and forging a new path, something extremely out of character for a person like me who was brought up in a culture and community that lived by the adage “the nail that stands out gets pounded down”… or something along those lines. I could never pay attention in Chinese idiom classes. Yes, we had Chinese idiom classes. I have an idiom up my sleeve for every life situation you throw at me. Name it, I’ll idiom it.