As you can probably tell this post is a bit on the late side. Only by a week so its not that bad. But nevertheless if you’re trying to comment on Week 9 just skip this post.
In other news, back to blog post topics. While thinking about group events I am a bit conflicted on how to feel. Because I am Dominique and plainly refuse to lie I will say that I am slightly disappointed in group events/meetings. For the record I like the idea of going to the other people in the program’s jobs but at the same time I felt the same way I do when I leave church. While the sermon made me analyze my life, when I walk out those doors I go back to living my normal sinful life. During each person’s talk I felt like I really understood what their organization was about and I felt inspired but, during my departure I left going back to the same mentality. The mentality that says my contribution was microscopic in the grand scheme. Perhaps this is what psychologists might label as PTSD which has rendered the deer in the headlights effect. I am not saying that I expect these people to offer answers but it would be nice to leave knowing the right question to ask.
As far as group meetings that we (the DCBRPs) made I am slightly disappointed. It is important to note that I include myself when I say that I am disappointed. Coming into this program I vowed that I would not succumb to the charm of the midtown myth. Apparently I am not as strong as I thought. I did not show the Detroit that I knew. I did not show the desolate breathe of neighborhoods that only know hope as a after thought depending on the level of generational delusion. I did not show that I am one of the few who made it out because that would mean I would have to admit that I see Detroit as a prison so perhaps one time the news got the story right. I did not show the full story because I was afraid of admitting that I don’t know much about the story I am a main feature in. How could I expect someone who has only seen the cover of this story to give a proper summary?
Hey Dominique, thank you for being Dominique, for your honesty, and for your words. “I did not show that I am one of the few who made it out because that would mean I would have to admit that I see Detroit as a prison so perhaps one time the news got the story right”. This line resonates with me so much because I flew across continents to get away from a place I call home, but where the people I call family tell me to never come back if I can. They tell me America is where everything is at, opportunity, education, and a future. My own uncles and aunts stand at their doors, waving goodbye to me and I know in my heart of hearts that to return would be to face their scorn. My country is a prison to them, but it’s MY prison to me, and I can choose to change the system, to rise up with my fellow inmates (rise?rebellion?riot?rights?), and to rebuild a new institution with new visions from the inside out, bottom up.